Discomfort Zone - The Female of the Species

Discomfort Zone
The Female of the Species

Watching a great performance of a play on Sunday at St James Cavalier, Valletta Malta, reminded me (as a Relationship Coach)of many common difficulties in the relationships between men and women.

The clever script was inspired by an incident in the life of Feminist Germaine Greer. The lead character is a writer of Feminist ideas, and her books reflect changing attitudes to the relationship between the sexes, as she offers one different solution to life after another, book by book, leaving perhaps a trail of readers trying to follow one or other suggested lifestyle. Her big success was written 35 years earlier, and in the play she struggles to any inspiration to write a new book which the Publisher needs to stay in business.

The characters in the play are all recognisable stereotypes, from the child deserted by her mother at birth, as recommended in the authors first bestseller book advising women to follow their dreams. The author’s daughter feels unloved by her mother, does not know who her father is, and is overwhelmed by bringing up three small children, while her husband, trying to help, is emancipated , does the tasks at home, but offers her no sexual excitement, or outlet which she craves, or at least she would if she was not always tired.

She needs dominating sexual energy from her man and without it lives in frustration and depression. Does any reader relate to this? Does a woman want a MAN, or a cleaner (or both in one)?

The taxi driver comes in, he has been through the emasculated process but returned to masculinity which attracts the unsatisfied daughter. And so it continues with amusing dialogue and the audience are surely all relating to one scenario being discussed, or another.

Taking one relationship example: Our LIFE FORCE energy is sexual, and where man and woman are together, however much he shares the tasks of the home, or she has career or outside interests, a relationship without sex or intimacy to satisfy both parties, is unbalanced and unsatisfying for at least one.

I see this is my relationship coaching and can offer a mirror to man and woman, and guide them, if they desire it, to a sensual, intimate, fulfilling relationship. Tantric practices can be so helpful to achieve this.

Of course this will never work for some couples, who may live in unsatisfying compromise because they enjoy some other part of the relationship, or are afraid to leave the comfort zone (which they know, for fear of what lies beyond), one or both often just shutting down this important part of life.

I prefer to call this the discomfort zone!

Some will realise that there is more to life, and ultimately leave to find partners with whom they can enjoy a satisfying balanced life using the LIFE FORCE – sexual energies, which stimulate feel good hormonal chemicals to the brain, lifting depression, and giving energy for quality work and leisure.

I recommend the play if it comes to a theatre near to you.

If you are in Malta there are further performances on 9, 10 & 11 March 2012.

Relationships Are Changing

Relationships at every level are changing.

Higher frequencies are motivating these changes, and many of you are already responding to these higher energies by changing jobs, residence or relationships.
That is why you have so many split-ups, breakdowns, separations and divorces.

Everything will be very different in the future, but what will happen to relationships?

In the new energy scenario, the key is to put yourself at the centre of your life, and to do this is neither selfish nor egotistic.

Be complete in yourself first, then, you can help others. They will find you.

Future relationships will come from the heart, and will be based on honesty and truth. The focus will be on sharing and co-dividing energies, while at the same time keeping your being-ness and your uniquenes.

These relationships will not be based on need and dependency upon each other, but by two independent spirits who are complete in themselves, and benefit by being independent together in Love.

“God” created Love, while humans created marriage.

Love creates union of souls and mind and oneness with the universe, while the institution of marriage (and living together – without conscious awareness) often produces possession of the other person and thus it stifles creativity and growth.

Today couples stay together out of free will, while before they had little choice.
They also part because the relationship does not serve the needs of one or both partners. Those needs include spiritual growth. Freedom from a stifling or unsatisfactory relationship allows the person to develop and blossom.

The premise of the new-paradigm of relationship will be to love the other by loving oneself first and to make a commitment to help each other become more conscious.

That is a powerful relationship.

SURYA and CHANDRA The Play of Sun and Moon in human relationships

SURYA and CHANDRA

The Play of Sun and Moon in human relationships

In ancient Vedic scripts the sun SURYA, moon CHANDRA, and the planets were all related to human characteristics and interaction.

The sun gives the light, and energy from it’s fire, the masculine quality. The moon reflects the light of the sun, the feminine quality. When Surya leads and takes responsibility, Chandra is bathed with the light and there is harmony. All is as nature planned.

Surya attracts Chandra and the essential male – female energies support each other. Chandra is programmed to be beautiful, and to praise and encourage Surya, who in turn is devoted to love and to take care of Chandra, and the family. Surya is the strength and leadership. Patient Chandra is responsive to the leadership, and dedicates her life to be the support of their Surya partner, and mother to his children.

Surya is the leader. There can only be one leader. In present times many women take the role of Surya because the man in the relationship does not lead, or take responsibility. He may have been raised by a Surya mother, often in a single parent family. He was conditioned to the Chandra role by the strength of his Surya mother who fought to raise him alone, and dedicated years of her life to this lonely task, which she would not have missed for the world. He does not know how be be Surya to a woman.

Or the woman is the single mother, or single career woman, so is the Surya. She has the capability to revert to the Chandra role if she meets a strong Surya male, or can remain the Surya to a weaker Chandra male.

Some Chandra women, on connecting with the Chandra male, spend years of patient encouragement to train their man to be the Surya. Some just become the Surya of the relationship.

As women recognise and practice their spiritual growth and journey, many will become the Surya, in that aspect at least, or will walk away and take the journey alone. Many Surya women walk the spiritual path.

So how can career couple, both, Surya, has a personal relationship? In practice one or other will become the Surya at home, the other the Chandra. It can be one roll at work, the other at home. There will be compromise, separate paths within the relationship, or clashes. In practice, they can both be so drained by the careers that they come home and exist, sharing meals, a concert, a holiday, and little else. But they remain connected because most of the package functions to a degree of satisfaction.

Of course this is just a scene from the play. The young men taking the powerboat to a bay for a boys day out, drinking beer, and playing loud music for everyone nearby to hear, are not taking responsibility. They are Mars, not Surya.

To keep this article simple, the planet aspects have been ignored but will exist in all.

Are you Surya, taking responsibility? Are you Chandra, reflecting the light and providing the support to a Surya? Does reading this inspire you to change?

Copyright

David Millner

15 August 2010

SEXUALITY & SPIRITUALITY - part 1

There are two choices for those with rising consciousness.

Stay safe and unhappy in a suffocating system, the familiar, the fear, the comfort zone, surrounded by negative energies, and people stuck in their ways, wanting to move on but not doing that, OR

Move into the expanding consciousness WITHOUT THE BRAKES.

Don’t resist. Don’t stay in the middle, with one foot in each camp or you will suffer the CHAOS and the pain.

Guilt keeps us holding onto the old structures, even though all consciousness is expanding anyway.

We are moving away from the “family”. See how many people live alone. We no longer relate to many blood relatives. Blood is all we have in common.

We are moving towards a collective consciousness, a group consciousness.

A tribal system is returning, a support group, where people of common interests and beliefs come together and support each other.

FLOW (as in female energy) without resistance. Just do what you want to do without hurting people.

Confusion will occur, especially with those who are not in expanding consciousness. They won’t understand so don’t share with them at present.

Relationships will become more loose. The priority is the spiritual path and expanding consciousness.

Blood relationships will disintegrate, more than they already do. Expect to be seen as the black sheep of the family. In time they may say “why is the black sheep of the family flourishing?” and may follow by example.

Have no expectation and suffer no disappointment. The only expectation is that any relationship should help with the spiritual path of each partner in some way or other.

These new spiritual relationships can be sexual or non-sexual. The relationship will be what people need for their own spiritual expansion.

Synchronisticly the Universe will put in my path people who will advance one, or two or more aspects of my spirituality. Be discreet about these relationships. Others will not understand yet.

The move is towards all that matters, LOVE, UNIVERSAL LOVE and COMPASSION. We are used to relationships where the parties are together because they need something. In future consider not what can be got out from a relationship, but “What can I give to this “FREE and EMPTY SPACE”? – Give and receive.

Group consciousness can express unconditional love in different ways, groups of scientists, groups of artists, groups of spiritual people expressing love, compassion and sexuality in their own ways. These groups will form.

Now is the time to say goodbye to old structures, and relationships hindering the spiritual path, whether family or friends.

There is a migration, a coming home, to group consciousness, to groups to which the members relate. Think of hobbies – the way I express myself creatively, therefore which soul group to join.

This is a transitional period. It will be difficult for two to four years as such moves leave chaos behind them