Discomfort Zone - The Female of the Species

Discomfort Zone
The Female of the Species

Watching a great performance of a play on Sunday at St James Cavalier, Valletta Malta, reminded me (as a Relationship Coach)of many common difficulties in the relationships between men and women.

The clever script was inspired by an incident in the life of Feminist Germaine Greer. The lead character is a writer of Feminist ideas, and her books reflect changing attitudes to the relationship between the sexes, as she offers one different solution to life after another, book by book, leaving perhaps a trail of readers trying to follow one or other suggested lifestyle. Her big success was written 35 years earlier, and in the play she struggles to any inspiration to write a new book which the Publisher needs to stay in business.

The characters in the play are all recognisable stereotypes, from the child deserted by her mother at birth, as recommended in the authors first bestseller book advising women to follow their dreams. The author’s daughter feels unloved by her mother, does not know who her father is, and is overwhelmed by bringing up three small children, while her husband, trying to help, is emancipated , does the tasks at home, but offers her no sexual excitement, or outlet which she craves, or at least she would if she was not always tired.

She needs dominating sexual energy from her man and without it lives in frustration and depression. Does any reader relate to this? Does a woman want a MAN, or a cleaner (or both in one)?

The taxi driver comes in, he has been through the emasculated process but returned to masculinity which attracts the unsatisfied daughter. And so it continues with amusing dialogue and the audience are surely all relating to one scenario being discussed, or another.

Taking one relationship example: Our LIFE FORCE energy is sexual, and where man and woman are together, however much he shares the tasks of the home, or she has career or outside interests, a relationship without sex or intimacy to satisfy both parties, is unbalanced and unsatisfying for at least one.

I see this is my relationship coaching and can offer a mirror to man and woman, and guide them, if they desire it, to a sensual, intimate, fulfilling relationship. Tantric practices can be so helpful to achieve this.

Of course this will never work for some couples, who may live in unsatisfying compromise because they enjoy some other part of the relationship, or are afraid to leave the comfort zone (which they know, for fear of what lies beyond), one or both often just shutting down this important part of life.

I prefer to call this the discomfort zone!

Some will realise that there is more to life, and ultimately leave to find partners with whom they can enjoy a satisfying balanced life using the LIFE FORCE – sexual energies, which stimulate feel good hormonal chemicals to the brain, lifting depression, and giving energy for quality work and leisure.

I recommend the play if it comes to a theatre near to you.

If you are in Malta there are further performances on 9, 10 & 11 March 2012.

Earth Yourself

SBG:
I feel like I have an electric current running through me. It's tremendously unsettling.


DM:
Go outside and ground yourself by standing bare foot on the grass or earth.


SBG: David Thank you. That was the best I have felt all day when I sat on my porch with my bare feet in the grass. I'm going to head back out there for as long as the weather will allow.


Of course going into nature is a great way to relax, de-stress and to regain balance in life too, Nature heals us.

How to LIVE YOUR DREAM

I am asked “How do I LIVE THE DREAM”

In simple terms

Focus on what is important to you and resonates with you.
Step back from what no longer serves your purpose.
Leave your comfort zone.
Ask the Universe / God or whatever you believe, for specifically what you need.
Trust that you will receive it.
Believe that you can LIVE YOUR DREAM
Be open to infinite possibilities.
You have dreams I am sure.
What steps can you take to LIVE them, not just to dream them?
Do your yoga, meditation and spiritual practices.
Serve others.
Make a difference to someone every day.
Seek the real YOU through silence and by being in nature.
Live consciously.
Eat natural foods, avoid meat.
Have FUN.
Live in LOVE, Universal, unconditional LOVE

How is that for starters?

Have a wonderful 2012

SEXUALITY & SPIRITUALITY Part 5 - Monogamy

SEXUALITY & SPIRITUALITY Part 5 - Monogamy

This topic will always flow! There is no “one fits all” solution.

I have stated in previous posts that very few people admit that one partner satisfies ALL their needs, and that the majority will admit at some time in life to going outside the relationship without telling their partner, for whatever reason.

Some accept a less than fulfilling compromise of monogamy, often leaving one or other frustrated, without touch or physical love.

Some live a lie, appearing to be monogamous, but having at some time(s) in life, secret relationships, to fulfil missing needs.

Some openly practice polygamy, honest and open relationships with more than one partner, with all concerned being aware.

Some just have multiple sexual partners.

A case for monogamy in a spiritual journey:

As part of a spiritual journey, it is possible to create a truly deep sacred union with a life partner, pursuing a high soul evolution, jointly dedicating and combining energies with one partner/lover to walk a much higher path, and to create a deep sacred relationship.

Working with tantra principles and practices is one way to achieve this closeness.

A couple can work intentionally and consciously together to purify themselves, raise their own vibrations, thoughts, bodies and energies, in a vessel of pure deep love between the couple as the sacred relationship.

This takes awareness and consciousness, which many have yet to seek or find.

Once energies are jointly raised this way, these energies are broken by sexual connection with a different partner.
Such Monogamy -Ideal?
Achievable?

Of course, where there is sufficient consciousness, awareness and intention.



Cppyright
David Millner 20.12.2011
Please feel free to reproduce in full only with credit to the author.

Root Chakra

ROOT CHAKRA

Please find below some questions for self-examination on the root chakra. I recommend that you spend some time thinking and meditating on each question individually.

1. What belief patterns did you inherit from your family?
2. Which of those belief patterns that still have authority in your thinking can you acknowledge are no longer valid?
3. What superstitions do you have? Which have more authority over you than your reasoning ability?
4. Do you have a personal code of honour? What is it?
5. Have you ever compromised your sense of honour? If so, have you taken steps to heal it?
6. Do you have any unfinished business with your family members? If so, list the reasons that prevent you from healing your family relationships
7. List all the blessings that you feel came from your family.
8. If you are now raising a family of your own list the qualities that you would like your children to learn from you.
9. What tribal traditions and rituals do you continue for yourself and your family.
10. Describe the tribal characteristics within yourself that you would like to strengthen and develop.

For those who are interested in buying (online) the book that the workshop was based upon, the title is 'Anatomy of Spirit' and the author is Caroline Myss.

Also you can check out her many videos on youtube and her website www.myss.com


love to you all x xx x

Amber de Giorgio

NOTES:
LOCATION: The first chakra is located at the base of the spine.

PETALS: This chakra rules the lowest vibration of our body and has the slowest wavelength. There are four spokes, or petals. Four is the number of the square and foundations. The square is related to being honest, or giving a "square deal, the four energies of earth--earth, air, fire, and water, and the four directions. Four walls, four legs, or four wheels represent a strong foundation.

NOTE & MANTRA: The note for this chakra is C and the mantra is "lam" or "e" as in red. Chanting these mantras in the key of D while focusing our attention on this area of our body can enable us to more consciously access the first chakra.

COLOR: The colour for this chakra is red, which is the lowest frequency of human's visible light spectrum. Red is the colour of anger and/or vitality.

RULES: The first chakra rules our PHYSICAL energies. Also known as the root chakra, it governs our vigor, heredity, survival, security, passion, money, job, and home. This chakra aids us in our everyday survival.

MY 10 INTENTIONS for 2012

MY 10 INTENTIONS for 2011

What are yours?

I will focus my mind on what I can do, not on what I cannot do.
I will take steps each day to make my dreams become reality.
I will walk the earth in truth, honesty and integrity (as a Rainbow Warrior).
I will actively develop my external masculine and internal feminine to keep strong and balanced.
I will focus on work and not on the outcome.
I will observe and not judge and I will respect people’s space.
I will take care of myself, my physical health and emotional wellbeing.
I will follow my beliefs and walk my path towards consciousness,happiness, balance, and spiritual awakening as well as helping others who want my support and guidance.
I will practice yoga and meditation at least three times a week.
I am open to change, to receive love and positive energies, and signs from the Universe.

5 Regrets of the Dying

Five Regrets of the Dying

By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, such as denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though... every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.

Here are the most common five:

1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2) I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5) I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your death-bed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.