Earth Yourself

SBG:
I feel like I have an electric current running through me. It's tremendously unsettling.


DM:
Go outside and ground yourself by standing bare foot on the grass or earth.


SBG: David Thank you. That was the best I have felt all day when I sat on my porch with my bare feet in the grass. I'm going to head back out there for as long as the weather will allow.


Of course going into nature is a great way to relax, de-stress and to regain balance in life too, Nature heals us.

THE IMPORTANCE OF “ME” TIME

THE IMPORTANCE OF “ME” TIME

Did you ever see something in a shop, want it, and for whatever reason, not buy it? : Perhaps a book, a pair of shoes, or whatever. You felt that you could not spare the money that day, or were just indecisive.

When you arrived home you regretted the decision or the indecision. Next time you passed the shop, went in, and what you wanted was no longer there.

Did you ever not do something because “I am too busy”, like doing yoga, meditating, attending an important event or reading a special book?

You know that “I am too busy” is really an excuse. You can find time in the busiest day for a few minutes of silence to connect with the “inner You”, your higher self. We can all be more time efficient if we decide to be.

The three most important things in life according to Prahbu Darmayasa, Balinese spiritual leader, and co-founder of the Divine Love Society, are:

Health
Peace of Mind
Divine Love

He says that we ignore these “diamonds”.

It may not be your style but sometimes even the most “giving” person must put himself first. Make some “ME” time a priority, even five minutes a day, to be quiet and to look within, to listen.

If you only give, and never take for yourself, your life is out of balance. We all need balance.

Never again miss the rare opportunity to get what YOU need or want when you see it. It may never be offered again.

If it is important you, for once, put “ME” ahead of worrying that “But I should stay home to be with my partner today” or “I should not spend this money”, or “I don’t have time”.

These common thoughts / phrases will lead to lifelong regret of missed opportunity, and leave you out of balance and harmony.

ME time is your gift to your self to nurture your soul.

Copyright David Millner
December 2010

THE BALANCE BETWEEN DOING WHAT YOU WANT AND YOUR PARTNER’S FEELINGS

THE BALANCE BETWEEN DOING WHAT YOU WANT
AND YOUR PARTNER’S FEELINGS


You were young, exploring sex, wanting to try something different, but you were afraid to make the suggestion to your partner because you feared a negative reaction. OR You are mature, and are still afraid to ask.

Even you are single, but you don’t take the dance classes you would love to do because you think dance partners will think you unattractive, overweight or incompetent.

“He / she won’t like it if I go away on my own for a yoga retreat, to be with strangers.”

“I have to be home at 1pm to make his salad”. Believe it or not this is a true situation. I know the person. She should teach him how to go to the fridge and prepare a salad!!!

“Tonight is the weekly event of my spiritual group, but my partner suggested that we go out for a pizza, so I had better go for the pizza and miss my “hobby” evening.”

You wanted to go out on Friday, but did not tell you partner, who has now arranged something else for you both.

You want to spend time with someone with similar interests, of the opposite sex.

How many of us live a lie, in one way or another, to make life function?

It is often said that marriage is a compromise, as is any relationship between two people.

The examples above all reflect a number of simple facts.

LOVE. You love your partner so much that you don’t want to upset him / her by saying what you really want. By you being sweetness and light, and not demanding, you think that he / she will love you more.

FEAR. You fear the reaction so that you don’t want to upset him / her by asking what you really want.

Your partner may be the “stuck in his ways” type who will never change.

I am not advocating that where a partnership works, and all is peace and calm, that you suddenly start to create frictions, which you have been carefully avoiding for years.

Your partner may LOVE you so much that he / she would want you to do or have what you want, but if you don’t ask, you are PRESUMING his /her opinion / reaction, and not finding it for real. He / she would actually be upset to think that you did not say and do what you really want.

“He / she will only love me if……………..” is conditional love.

Take time to decide what you really want to do, both for small matters and for important ones. Starting with the small ones, test the water with you partner. “I would really like to do this dear – it will only cost x, or I want to be out on Tuesday evenings for y.” “Does that affect your plans?

What kind of relationship do you have? Can you say, “ I am going to ….on Tuesday so I will be out”, or are the dynamics of the relationship such that you have to seek consent?

Many relationship issues reflect years of at least one partner not saying what he /she wants, just accepting passively what is, and building up frustrations and negative feelings which could have been solved by communicating years ago.

It is not too late to start communication about issues in your mind which remain unspoken, and which you want to bring into the open. You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. Or perhaps it will identify that you are living a lie, and perhaps it is time to leave the comfort zone of that lie, and start to live your truth, even if it may mean some initial chaos. What is important to you?

Our spiritual growth and true purpose in life can be more important than the comfort zone lie of a relationship. Let me remind you of some characteristics of the 3rd dimensional mind:

Fear, Anger, Jealousy, Victimhood, Ego, materialism, conditional love, control and living from the brain.

We can aspire to, and live in 5th dimension characteristics:

Peace, Joy, Unconditional love, honesty, openness, allowing, community, sharing and living from the heart. We can be happy for our partner to do what he / she wants to do, when we can aspire to this way of thinking.

We have a right to do what we want where it is with good intention, and without hurting others. Many people are out of balance and either control, or are controlled.

Will you hurt another by saying what you think, or are you challenging the other to change his / her perspective for the better? Do not prejudge this important point. They need the opportunity to learn too.

With better communication, good intention and unconditional love and understanding we will grow as individuals and create a better world.

Copyright David Millner
November 2010

MOVING TOWARDS BALANCE

MOVING TOWARDS BALANCE

Visualise your life today. Visualise this parallel with life.

You are on a sailing boat crossing an ocean. Something in life is out of balance. You love life though.

You are sailing a long distance through big waves. It has to be done, but it could be easier. You want to reach the distant calm haven.

To sail through a year you cannot just have the nice days, and fresh air, you have to sail through the big waves (of the office etc.) to reach the end of the year.

At the next port there is the opportunity to reflect and to decide what is important, and what to do next. We all have that choice and there are ways to achieve it.

You will find the way, it is early days. There are thousands of days ahead.

There is no point in putting off to another day our desires and dreams.
Life is NOW not the future.
You can do something different for a different outcome.
Make the necessary changes.

But no point to push things either.
You have gratitude for your many blessings.
You enjoy the presents which each day can bring - without expectations.
Go with flow.

The balance is to go with the flow, while making the changes to achieve the desired outcome. Sail to the safe haven, then when the timing is right, take a new course.

Copyright David Millner
November 2010

THE BALANCED LIFE

THE BALANCED LIFE

You don’t need to be spiritual to live a balanced or an unbalanced life.

On a scale of 0 (unsatisfactory) to 10 (very satisfactory) you can rate your current status. Choose your own categories; but they may include: work / career, family, relationship / love, sport, hobbies, fitness, health, friends, spirituality, travel, art / creativity, finances etc.

Draw a circle with some spokes (like a wheel) from the centre to the edge. At the end of each spoke write one of the chosen categories. The centre of the wheel represents your zero, unsatisfactory rating. The rim represents your ten, the very satisfactory.

Now plot you scores onto the spokes of the wheel and join the dots. A workaholic who rarely sees the family, or who has no time for relationships might rate career at 9 and family, or relationship at 2. Someone out of work, but who has time to meditate and do yoga each day may rate career 0 and spirituality 9.

The lines between the dots show the shape of your wheel, your present moment life balance. Would your wheel roll down the road, or stop?

It is important to focus on your present moment life balance, and address any imbalance. It could improve your health as well as bringing necessary balance.

How did you rate your spirituality? 1 or 2 because you are frustrated, can’t find the time, or don’t know how to progress? Or 8 or 9 because you live and breathe it, despite other calls on your time and energy?

It is easy to put spirituality into little boxes, the one-hour yoga class, and the weekly meditation group. Then you get on with your life until the next spiritual appointment in your diary. You are probably the one who made a low score on the wheel, and you see spirituality as another activity to find time for.

Or you make the decision to act like the spiritual being that you are (or want to be), living this human experience. Wake up a few minutes earlier in the morning if necessary and develop a routine, for example:

Make four rounds of the yoga surya namaskar (sun salutation) and follow it with ten minutes of meditation, before you put the kettle or the computer on.

Then throughout the day think LOVE to all, and everything, smile at people, say good morning to strangers, pick up some discarded drink bottle and put it in the recycling bin, take a few deep breaths, connect with nature, even if you can only make loving touch with a tree outside the office.

Be CONSCIOUS about all aspects of the day. Spiritualiy is consciousness and awareness.

Consider what really matters, what is really important. Focus your energies on what needs doing, in a conscious way. Treat the people around you in a conscious loving way.

Speak using positive words and statements. Avoid negative words,

Instead of “s**t, there’s no coffee”, say, “We need more coffee”.

When asked how you are, reply, “great thanks”, even if you don’t feel it. It raises the whole vibration and positivity in the home, or in the workplace. “Not bad” or “could be worse” drops the whole vibration. Be the shining light in your people group and the others will respond. Diplomatically, you can even encourage the others to do the same. Become, discreetly, the spiritual leader. Avoid becoming the spiritual bore.

Very few people are truly in balance, all of the time. Compare with a yachtsman steering his yacht across the sea. The desired destination may lie ahead on a compass course of 090 degrees, due east. When he concentrates, the bow will follow that average course but may move between 085 degrees and 095 degrees. When he gets tired, or distracted, the course may vary between 070 degrees and 110 degrees. The yacht will still reach the destination, but will take longer and get there in a less efficient way.

So are you on course today, and focussed, or are you distracted and keep deviating from the course?

There are extremes in spirituality of course. You may choose to take an intensive three-month retreat in an ashram, and ignore the world outside, or take some similar time out on your own in nature. Identify and live your truth. Over time you will develop different perspectives, and you will create the new balance that suits the new you. In fact some time out to find yourself, or to get to know yourself, is a worthwhile part of the spiritual journey.

Think yin and yang, think balance, be balanced.

Copyright

David Millner

August 2010

BALANCING PASSION & FIRE, with the RIGHT OUTCOME

BALANCING PASSION & FIRE, with the RIGHT OUTCOME

J says: “Thank you David, for your treasured friendship. I welcome the Spiritual and friendship journey with you....

Thank you for the link, I found it most helpful.....

I need to find a balance, between my passion n fire...I am sooo passionate about everything, so much so, that when I make a stand for the rights of others, I allow my fire to explode with out meaning too, and this of course is not good for any one......

''After reading your link I'm thinking yes I need to work on my ''Root n Throat Chakras....Would this be right do you think...? As I do not want to harm any one,

and I do have a passion for helping the underdog, but want to be able to do it in a loving way for the good of all.....''My Passion n Fire can be a Dangerous mix at times,

''I am not violent, but my words can carry much fire, and like a sword cut deep into others...not good I know. This is a part of me that I am trying to change, for myself n for the good of all.....xo”

Response

Yes work on the lower chakras. The element of fire is in the solar plexus chakra, the energy centre, and grounding earth is the root chakra, and communication (sound) the throat.

Think before you speak. Will you harm someone? Take a deep breath, and practice to accept that what you stand up for does not matter SO much, and that there is another way... to move forward in your truth.

Balance between the intention you have, and the harm you know you can do.

Just keep trying, and listen to what you say, and learn from the observation.